Day 19: What is Support?

My sister called today and said that she is overwhelmed with school and might not be able to make our counseling session tomorrow. Another cancellation. This time it wasn't the random clinic, it wasn't a friend it was my sister.

I was upset but I didn't tell her. I ended up laying in my bed and decided to try and take a nap. The nap was thwarted because of a guy I met through finding mentors on poz.com. He had sent me an email about being a mentee/mentor. I emailed him back and let him know that I would be up for meeting.

We met for coffee. I think this is my first ever "support group." I felt pretty comfortable talking about this with someone else who got this and seems to be leading a healthy life.

It's quite common to have a fear of sex. In fact I have heard from several guys that don't have sex until a year later or might have it once and feel scared of contracting the disease.

When using protection the chances are very low, unless the sex is so wild and rough that paramedics need to be called.

We talked about fears, research and how his friend with HIV for the last 10 or so years says "It's really not a big deal."

After a couple of weeks I have seen that HIV itself isn't a big deal if you take care of yourself. It's no different then managing diabetes type 1, hepatitis B sickle cell anemia and others. You have to change your life, do the research, stay updated on changes and educate others.

My sister texted me back saying that she's been stressed and realizes that I need her right now and that she is coming tomorrow night.

Before I tell my parents, before I introduce them to this blog I need to make sure she and I are educated and updated on as much information.

I think it would be beneficial if each person reading this blog would make an effort to educate yourself and send me your facts and thoughts. Tell me your common misconceptions or things you never realized about HIV and AIDS.

And now for the ugly side:

During our conversation the Mentee mentioned that his hairdresser made a note about the Aids walk in San Diego. He said something to the extent that he "wished that those people with HIV/AIDS would die so the rest of us wouldn't have to worry." Bigotry exists in all communities. If each of you can educated yourself and others about this disease, then maybe we wouldn't be scared of dying. Maybe we wouldn't be scared to approach each other. And maybe people like me wouldn't have a fear to give my friends a hug, be touched or loved.

And what the fuck. How could he believe this is a homosexual disease? What a selfish fuck. Africa has so many heterosexual couples living and dying. So many kids being born with this disease that are not immediately becoming faggots. Damn homosexuals and their narrow minds. What was I saying?