Day 24: Heatlh or Happiness?

What do you sacrifice? Health or Happiness. If something makes you so secure, so comfortable and brings out the best in you but it can detour your health - do you keep doing it?

If something keeps you so healthy you forget to live, is that extra day of life worth not enjoying the past 30 years?

What I am trying to say is that I had to make a choice today. I don't think it was the best choice. Maybe it's the paranoid choice. Maybe it was a decision from fear. Perhaps it was a clear reasoned thought. Perhaps I care about myself enough that I need to make sure I will be ok.

I asked my Pal not to come.

Two events I have been looking forward too have been vaporized. He was intending to come in a week and in November.

I asked my Pal not to come.

I am scared of getting sick from my Pal messing around right before he sees me. Just a kiss with the flu, anything that could assist the virus to raise its load in me. I don't want or need to take antibiotics, be in bed, especially now that I am going trough vaccines.

My arm is still puffy from my pneumonia vaccine. In two weeks when my system stabilizes I will receive both flu shots. Once again my viral load will rise and my system will work hard to regain stability.

He asked me if I didn't want him to come.

Am I being paranoid or overly cautious for my health?

Am I sacrificing this moment I could feel happiness only to discover I am quite empty and scared inside?

"Make haste steady choices and put all worries to rest. Choose quickly for time is short as the Mayan calendar will soon end."

Did I make the choice or has my worries set in? I asked my Pal not to come.

I can tell you I feel safe in making this choice but I don't feel happy. Perhaps it's because my Pal's support has suddenly become short term. I am coming to terms that maybe one day we might be revisited, if the fates would allow. Anyone ever read the original lyrics?.

Back to practicing Butterfly Nets.