Day 113 - 122: Days Moving Fast

It's been a long week.

Relationships falling apart, job interviews with no success, pressures from work, self love, feeling alone and singled out . . . I am sure the feelings of misery could continue on. 

I was walking to the shuttle from rehearsal feeling a little meloncholy.

I feel trapped.  I don't feel like i am able to make the choices and do the things I have always be able to do.  I feel like I don't have a choice in where I can go and that my potential is being hindered.

I realize that when one area is down, others struggle with it.

Am I happy?  No.  Am I sad? yeah sometimes.  Do I push forward?  I wish more than what I am.  I feel capable of so much more but I still can't put my finger on the line that will take me out of this murky pond.  the shuttle is here.

I came home.  My sister came by and I took her home.  On the was she gave me paperwork that I needed to fill out to be a patient of hers at her school.  She had a top form that she told me to have my doctor fill out.  It was already written in "HIV+ Please advise, thanks." 

Even I didn't get to fill it out.  Or have my say, or say anything at all.

For once I am reminded that when having a bad day, any reminder of the disease is frustrating..

I am going to sleep and hopefully in the morning I will feel better.