Thursday, August 12, 2010

Day 330: My First Group Experience

So I was recommended to start a 16 week program that goes over the healthy lifestyfle assessment of those people living with HIV and having amazing lives.  All of them have amazing lives but only 10% are living with the virus without complications.

This was the first time i went into a group.  I biked there which was great!  16 miles one way.  I came in and was 5 minutes late but just in time for me to find a seat with, holy shit there were like 40 people and I have to talk about me having HIV, what if, what, I mean, random people, out of my element, I don't have control over who or what or when . . . and this is when I tell myself, it's ok. Calm down.  With the fear of revealing to much comes the regression back to avoiding stories.

There are so many people.  Motley.  I don't see anyone my age, well no, there are two African-American girls that look a little younger.  They are adorable.  There is a guy next to me who seems to be void of hope and doesn't see any happiness in being positive.  There are two guys in their early twenties who walk in late, and the rest?  OLD!  Ok so I really have nothing against old people.  It's about how you take care of yourself, and that's the key.

What I saw there were a random group of people, some who did take care of themselves and some who were enveloped in hopelessness and were led to places they don't like. 

That's what this class is all about.  Going from where you are now and taking a step to improve your mental, social and physical well being.  Wow!  Everyone reading?  You have to get HIV to finally take time out of your life to improve your mental, social and physical health.  Don't forget that.  (Or you can start before getting it and take the time now to be one step of my sexy ass.  Cause you know in 16 weeks you are gonna wish you can tap this and I am going to be like "No Mistah Super Man is not here."  Denied!

So we were in pairs and I told my partner why I was here.  She told me why she was here - to improve her life and to live better.  Isn't that what we all want?  I almost cried when she said that.  I think next week I will give her a hug and tell her.  Tell her - she's going to be successful cause she's taking a step to do it.  I believe in her as much as I believed in me almost a year ago.  Things seem fuzzy, but then life slowly settles as much as it can and you realize you are moving along.

I know I usually have some humor at this point about serious situations.  But really there is nothing to laugh at her motivation.  However if she can't do it, all her gay pals are going to show her the light.  Cause it's flaming in that room and we gotta lead Carolann towards it.

No comments:

Post a Comment