Day 340: Sarcasm Should Be Delivered With Signs

So today I came home and had my mom approach me about a post on BookFace.  I wrote that based upon several items in an article that my dad might be gay.  I had a lot of friends say how funny it was.  My cousin saw it, and without reading the article attached started sending information to my sister and several family members.  Unfortunately they didn't send the entire post and might have cleared the air if they read the article and clarified why I posted it.  Perhaps they could have just asked me directly why I posted it instead of sending nasty messages.

My mom blew it out of proportion and started saying how all these family members will find out and see that and take offense.  She said if it was sarcasm I should have wrote in that it was sarcasm and that I should have said the article was sarcasm and had it posted so people could read.

I didn't know what to say except get your facts straight and read everything instead of forming opinions based upon scattered information.

My sister put a message saying that i was basically a bad person and a slob.  I wanted to know who was telling her I was a slob and I confronted my mom and she didn't know.

I find it pretty funny that they can get into this uproar about something without asking me, and yet when they say something false nothing happens.  I also think it's crazy anyone would start a family fued on facebook.

So why is this important?

Well I am reading about personal beliefs, stress and self care in my HIV Shanti Life Manual.  I am finally at a point in my life where I can look beyond stress and center myself.

I got defensive at first but then I realized I could center myself.  This was ridiculous.  Why should I have to stress over other people not getting their information right?

And there it was.

I can take responsibility for what I say but when people find information and start producing a negative response towards me I can finally manage it.  I can finally manage it.  After months I can finally say I am at a huge turning point where I can start responding to life in a calm and collective way.

It's such a different approach.  Stress is scary.

I guess now I need to take time to practice this.

Oh inadvertently I also included in the post that unlike myself and my uncle, my dad was not a homosexual.  I think for the first time I was able to announce it because I realize this.  I have not been able to talk to my mom or dad about this and I had this sinking feeling my mom never accepted it.  Once I got that fear out in the open then for some reason I don't feel scared about it.  I realize I have spent a lot of effort keeping my parents pleased and trying to do what would make them feel proud to have a son like me.  I think I focused on what would make my mom happy to call me her son and make her feel normal.  I guess I don't feel that burden.

I got HIV because I couldn't ask the guy I was dating to use a condom.  I trusted that his tests were fine, as he said his recent tests were.  I feel I can finally begin the path of asking for what I need and loving myself for asking. 

I also think I need more conflict on Facebook.  [FYI there is a giant sarcastic sign held high]