Day 2: What Did I do?

Today I made an appointment for a counselor at The Center to have the preliminary session. I will have access to a counselor once a week to guide me through this process.

The one thing that makes me cry isn't about the disease itself, it's about losing the safe haven of friends and family around me. I reassure myself of the love that people have for me as a way to prevent me from the random outbursts of tears.

At this point I have confronted my reasons for doing what got me here, but I don't think I was ready to have the simple task of telling people be the biggest hurdle in this experience.

I have found www.thebody.com as a great resource to information about being diagnosed and the process for living with this as well as 10-ways to care for yourself.
http://www.gmhc.org/health/publications/ten_ways.html

How you can help yourself when you have HIV:
Reduce stress. Eat well. Exercise.

Really? Is it that simple? If I only knew this before!

I know that in the short future I am going to have to deal with the additional knowledge of more friends and family. I feel scared. The only way to battle the fear is to learn more about the alien babies, rather than question the misinformation people generally have about this disease.

Did you know that more people die of heart disease than HIV?
Did you know that you can get HIV from eating an infected person's dried apricots, cheesecake and other delicious treats HIV people put in their fridge for just them?
Did you know that most people, if not all people with HIV die?
Did you know there are more people without HIV that die than people with HIV?

So this is Day 2. I researched about this disease. I found ways to improve my general health, specifically ways to boost the immune system. Flavonoids! Learn about them and love them! I read about medications and how they can sometimes be irritable, not because of the combination of drugs but simply because of the kind of bacteria in your intestines.

Tonight I am going to have comfort food. Thai! Chinese medicine believes outside entities can be cures through sweating. Spicy food is one of those ways of getting rid of colds, the flu, disease - "I'll take drunken noodle with shrimp and a spicy 7."

How do I feel about getting this? I feel like life now with HIV is going to be a cruise ship in relation to those that died before me. They are the people that have raised awareness, money and general love so that I can receive medications that will let me live to see love, happiness and prevent me from doing what my dad says is the most tragic thing in the world. I will NOT die before my parents.