Day 14: What is a Healthy Relationship?

I broke up with the BF (hence forth known as my Pal - Pretty Amusing Latino/Paul's Aztec Lover/Penis,Ass,Lips . . . ), well under a mutual consensus we stopped the courtship. I wasn't having fun and he was stressing out.

I talked a bit with my therapist about why we broke up and where we are now. Where we are now! Yes there is still a spark that ceases to fully ignite but not dwindle. Immediately after and since the break up, he and I have had discussions in length about our feelings, what we want from ourselves and from each other.

My therapist asked what I thought about my Pal. I told her that I don't really see myself worrying about him, I am just letting things happen.

Jackie helped me question my relationship with my Pal. We weren't official but we were something. She helped me understand that despite official titles ceasing, there was something more there. I didn't think of it at first but then I asked my Pal what I meant to him and we looked as us objectively.

For two people that live 600 miles away, who have recently met, who have been through a huge scare, who knows there are challenges between new relationships, distances, life, there is something healthier in those two people than in many relationships out there. These two people talk about the process, boundaries, goals, hopes, sex, to name a few. There is a trust and a comfort. There is a constant hope that each can push the other to reach beyond our comfort zones and achieve something better. At the core of it all they know that the simplest thing in the world can be the most soothing thing; a hug by someone who knows you a little more and still accepts you for what you are. Someone who is a pal.

I don't predict what will happen to us, nor do I worry. I am not basing things on tiny little cue cards that have specific titles. I don't worry about staying together or parting our separate ways. I'm just letting it be what it is and enjoying the simplicity of having someone who can love me. Who can care enough to be a jackass and a gentleman, and who will get a flu shot now knowing that I have to take extra precautions with my immune system and me. I expect that neither one of us will put each other in harms way again, and will ensure to protect each other like Batman and Robin!

As long as his influence is efficacious in making me happier then why let it stop?

A side note - It was because of a campaign in the 50's and a congressional hearing about the effects comic books had among children and speculation that Batman and Robin appeared to be homosexuals, that Batwoman and Bat-girl were introduced as love interests. ("Was Superman a Spy?" by Brian Cronin)