Day 82: Honest Duncan

I've been watching Dr. Drew's series on Sex Addiction.

I have also been keeping up with Duncan's blog. He's the only gay guy in the group. He's really in touch with himself and calls out the other participants causing them to think and digest this whole experience. He talks after the experience on how each of them went into this experience wanting to tacle their problem and not fall prey to reality tv.

There is a moment when he discusses how sex habits among gay men are pretty standard if you were to talk about sleeping around, kissing or remaining friends soon after sexual encounters. Furthermore, there is so much intolerance in the world and it's flushed in our faces everyday, that gay men are constantly looking for comfort and security. Sex is the easiest way to fulfill that. Since there is a label that all gay men sleep around and are very sexual, this becomes a given standard of how to live a gay life. Unfortunately people, including myself, fall for someone and trust that they can support and take care of them.

Is this sex addiction. It's a question posed on the show. To what degree is it flirtation or normal carnal embrace? What is normal carnal embrace?

Do I have a sex addiction? After watching the show I can say no. Do I feel the need for comfort and companionship. Hell yes. Who doesn't? The trick is, at least looking at why I really got this, is to be your own hero. When you get to a point in your life when you are very stressed, impacted by work, school, family, friends, you must rely on your own heart. You must trust that you will make it through your rough passage and continue to hope that life will get back on a better path.

It's so each to trust and fall into the arms of a hero.

It has taken me a week to really digest this problem. I can't believe I have a slight fear of writing my feelings down the day I have them. Instead I waited.

Duncan wrote in his blog that his brother and mother will see his blog. He is scared of expressing his honesty. He's scared of being shunned. What can you do but say what is on your mind and be a little more honest with yourself.